The Sacred and Revered Book of Chickno-Wollocotism

Now shall commence the inception of the Holy Book of Elmo


Book of LeTiggant

Chapter 1 - Commencement

Commencement: Preface - The Dreaded Enigma & The Key to Enlightenment

Before one can be fully enlightened; that being the enlightenment of the soul, spirit, and mind, one must first be amply equipped to solve the simple yet confounding problems which have plagued our very species since the dawn of the planet. The enigma which I should like to speak of in particular is one of much mystery, one which even the most adroit pundits of our order have not yet been able to figure out. I now ask of the reader this: sedulously peruse the following question, for it is of great importance.

Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

Though simple it may seem, the key is far from the grasp of any parochial fools. If one is not punctilious, they shall never be enlightened. Below, I shall describe the answer in great detail, while avoiding a surfeit of excess, superfluous information. However, do rest assured that there shall be no paucity of description, nor any dearth of detail.

Which came first, the chicken or the egg? There must be an egg from which a chicken can hatch, but from whence shall said egg be concieved, should the world be lacking of a chicken? The key is not a concept hard to grasp; it is not slippery and elusive. The answer is that The Mighty One, The Lord made the first egg into creation. He willed it to be so, and from said egg hatched the first chicken. You have been enlightened!

Commencement: Verses 1-10

Now, you shall know how this world came to be. There was at first nothing, an endless abyss of stygian gloom. Then, The Mighty One said, "O, there shall be light!" And light appeared, first as a little sliver, then as a rolling crescendo as it rapidly descended unto the darkness of the planet. However, The Mighty One was not yet pleased, as he noticed it was awfully silent. He said, "O, there shall be animals!". And animals appeared, animals of all types, shapes, and sizes. The mellifluous melody of birdsong swept through the still dawn air, gracing all that should hear it. Last of all, The Mighty One proclaimed, "O, there shall be Chicknietzhqians, whom shall cultivate the meadows and create elephantine citadels in which they shall reside and rule over all that is! And sure enough, there were Chicknietzhqians, of all color and size, but of the same religion: That which worships The Mighty One!

Chapter 2 - Ziletchians